the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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