Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
