the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I seem to have left my pride at pride
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
