My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
it hurts more in the daytime
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
