I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize