stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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