I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
