She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
