I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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