I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
