In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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