Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
