Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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