I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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