too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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