come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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