I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
