omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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