I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
