I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
