Do you still have your period?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
