don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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