just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
