guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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