ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
