Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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