I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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