We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
