There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
