soooo we both peed the bed last night...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
