nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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