She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
