So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
