i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize