She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize