ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
