I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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