the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
