Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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