I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
