sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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