Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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