I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize