eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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