either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize