I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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