idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
