when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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