she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
