Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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