So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
