you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize