i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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