Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
