Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
All I want is dick and wine.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
