Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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