i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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