maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize