We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
